The weather is perfect to sleep in, but I'm still not in bed. Common tests are ending too soon, and then poof* holidays. I really wonder why I dread this holiday so much. The only event I am actually looking forward to is only the getaway with my family in Genting Highlands.

I'm probably on the verge of slipping into depression with my current low state. There's not much life anymore is there. Or maybe my ego has been hurt to much for me to recover altogether.

Maybe the time will come when I stand up and start yelling like a mad monkey again. My temperament has been fluctuating though. Sometimes I get mad, and other times I feel like shutting up.

Roar. I can blame the rain, the skies, the clouds and the grass but I think it all goes back to me. There's this problem with me. I hate to admit it. Hate to admit whatever is within me that I hold on so tightly to. Hate to know that everything else falls with that stupid thought of mine.

To hell with the world's perception of me. Reality is never pleasing. Maybe responsibilities are subjective - because I may never have been given the responsibility I thought I held a long time ago.

Doing my best, and being the best in the eyes of others. That's a rather big gap. Right now, I need some brand new experience. Something to agitate my mind and bring me to a whole new level. Otherwise, I might start falling - and failing.

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.