YEAH!
today's my aunt's birthday!
i think i mentioned that before-
x))
we dined at wah lok cantonese restaurant.
located at the second level of Carlton Hotel.
anyway..
it was quite pleasant.
we seldom gather like this.
my uncle told me that SJI boys used to meet up with CHIJ girls in a cake shop there.
he also told me that Raffles City Shopping Mall was once occupied by RI.
then he also said that Ri used to refer to SJI as singapore judo instructors ;
CHIJ as chase husbands into jail ;
and they referred to themselves as REAL IDIOTS-
my uncle was from raffles institution.
funny huh ;
x))
i was gossiping with my cousins while eating.
hahahas.
and my aunt and uncles were talking about all sorts of stuff.
so it was really noisy.
the food was alright-
i never had a thing for chinese cuisine.
but the dessert was MARVELLOUS.
fried icecream.
hahahs.
that was something new. and tasty.
perfect.
yummmm ;
my uncles went home after lunch.
and we went to the national library.
it was fairly big.
and the toilet was really clean.
only the basement was the central lending section.
the rest of the levels from 2-13 were only for REFERENCE.
like what the heck.
level 13 contained rare materials and only authorised personnels were allowed to enter.
level 14 is the office.
i spent half of our time there in level 13.
they had the WHOLE collection of ALL sorts of magazines.
like seventeen, teenage, her world, prestige etc.
the first issue of teenage that was published in 1990 was so AWFUL.
hahahas.
i cannot believe it ok.
BLAHHHHH-
even i can design a much better cover page than that.
ughhhh-
hahahhas.
anyway.
i gave up reading that.
i just slumped myself onto the sofa provided and enjoyed the view of singapore from above-
then we went to bugis junction to walk about.
i kept referring my cousin to a pig.
hahahas.
from the ones in happy house to those keychains on display.
xD
then she resorted to referring me to a hippo.
hahahs.
shes really nice actually.
she actually bought a small jar of handmade candies from my sweet pleasures.
but it ended up being gobbled down by my other cousin, my sis and me.
x)))
then we went to bugis street.
and my mum bought a pair of imitation crocs which cost only 5.90?!
like wth.
it looks the same, weighs the same and feels the same.
PLUS ; its more than 10 times cheaper.
the only difference was that stupid CROCS being embossed on the front.
then we just wandered about.
i actually wanted to get a wallet.
but i can't seem to find one.
those in the wallet shop are so weird.
they have words like WHAT ATTITUDE or SHUT UP or MYUK.
ugh?
like whats that supposed to mean?
whenever i take out my wallet and look at it i get insulted by a dead thing.
NO WAY.
x))
on the way back my sis bought icecream;
you know.. the usual uncle ringing a bell and selling blocks of icecream under an umbrella with a motobike attached to the cart.
the thing was.
there were approximately 8 of such icecream uncles selling icecreams.
and there seem to be some sort of competition between them.
they were all selling at 50 cents for a cone and 80 cents for a block.
LIKE HUH?
some idiot must have started their stall one day and decided to give a promotion.
xD
who bothers.
besides, we benefit!
lalalas~
so go to the area outside OG in bugis to get your icecream kaes.
xD
we walked all the way down to little india just to catch the mrt home.
yepp.
we went to collect the photos from sengkang.
then we got home-
we had instant noodles for dinner ok.
hmmmmm-
and now ;
i'm cravng for fererro rochers!
wahahahas.
and now Harry Potter is on tv!
HOORAYYY!!
im off!
ciaos-


prove that you love yourself no longer ;
((x

i went shopping with my mum today-
it was funny-
we sort of got lost in orchard.
my mum and i got confused between fareast plaza and fareast shopping mall.
LOL.
and we spent more money on food than anything else.
so we finally walked to our destination after 3 hours from dhoby ghaut.
stopping occasionally to grab a bite.
i've got a blister from all that walking.
wahahahs-
and my mum was talking crap all the way.
she even gave me a handful of coins to donate to those holding out donation cans.
so me and my sister were like looking out for every person on the street who holds one.
and we collected loads of stickers-
they look hideous anyway.
so we pasted them all on my mum's handbag,
which in turn dropped off due to my mum's frequent rubbing of her bag with her arm.
xD
we passed by lots of jewellery shops on the way.
and my mum was collecting all sorts of advertisments and telling me which one she liked.
then she dropped me a hint that mother's day was approaching.
then she diverted the topic to how mean my brother was by asking her for pocket money everyday.
like he doesnt everyday!?
x))
before we even reached the plaza, we almost gave up.
because my mum insisted that fareast plaza was the mall opposite hilton hotel while i insisted that it wasnt.
so we resorted to calling for help.
i called my bro.
and he told me he would call back.
and after 1 hour he didnt call back.
i called theresa for help of course.
LIKE HELLO.
if i had been so dumb to wait for my bro, i would have taken like 4 hours to reach that darn place.
which was actually quite close to where we were.
wahahahas.
thanks anyway theresa.
=)
so we were walking.
and stuff.
when i overheard a female voice saying, " I desperately need a bag! "
i turned around and actually found a little girl about 10 telling her mum that.
ahahahas.
that sentence was a little too weird to be coming from someone so young huh.
hahahas.
and my sister was telling me she bought that rainbow coloured undie from a shop in the mall.
she brought me over.
and i spotted this really REALLY weird underwear for guys.
i don't think its appropriate to describe it.
x))
lalalas~
my dad picked us up from the mall.
and he brought us to eat -
then we were like discussing where to go.
until he said something like going to SOGO.
hahahs.
does it even exist?
then he said DAIMARU.
and i thought it ceased to exist some decade ago.
LOL.
but we ended up in hougang in the end.
my sis i were squabbling.
when she told me she needed the loo.
so i brought her there.
and guess who i met in the TOILET.
DEBBIE PANG!!!!!!!!
hahahahs.
we were screaming!
okok.
i was the only one screaming.
but hey.
who would ever expect to meet a friend in the TOILET?
hahahas.
anyway.
my mum sent my hp for servicing yet again.
i hope it works this time-
=)
anyway.
we got home and stuff.
and here i am typing-
xD
i guess i should spend more time with my family.
i never knew they were so fun to be with~
hahahas.
and tml is my aunt's birthday!!!!
hooray!
and we're going to EAT!
and my cousins would be there!
add on the extra HAPPINESS FACTOR!
MY BRO ISNT THERE!
woohoo!
xD
hahahas.
aren't i evil huhh-
anyway.
i'm outta here after changing my blog song.
i can't stand it.
how could you recommend me such a song huh!!!!!!!
blahhhh-
you know who you are. xD

i just have this sudden urge to describe me.
to let this world know me.
using words to put together a picture of myself.
i wonder how i would do that.
i have no idea either.
maybe one day i would.
maybe i won't describe me.
i would try describing my emotions.
it could be much more of a challenge to me.
like putting in words how i feel in every situation i encounter.
hoping someone out there would feel relieved that he/she is not the only one experiencing it.
or let someone know how it feels to be in such a fix.
if only everyone would try thinking for others.
this world might be a better place to live in. x))
i haven't really had the guts to analyse my own life lately.
perhaps i'm just afraid of what the answers would be.
afraid i would have to pick up from where i left off.
afraid i might have to go through those cold silences.
afraid i would have to face it all myself.
afraid i might need to fall into it again.
xS
i have no idea.
hmmm-
i suppose i'll live life like this first.
till i gather enough courage to face it altogether myself.
=)

I'VE GOT ANOTHER PERSONALITY TEST!
=)))
grab your pen and paper!
have fun-

PERSONALITY TEST
The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened.
This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely.
Do not cheat.



There are only three questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.
Go down slowly and do each exercise as you scroll down.
Don't look ahead.
Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along.
You will need it at the end.
This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self.
Give an answer for each item.





1. Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference. Cow Tiger Sheep Horse Pig





2. Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog Cat Rat Coffee Sea





3. Think of someone (who also knows you and is important to you) that you can relate them to the following colours (do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each colour.)
Yellow Orange Red White Green












Finished? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.










HERE IT IS-

1. This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY


2. Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.


3. Yellow: Someone you will never forget
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
Red: Someone that you really love
White: Your twin soul
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life




its freaky huh.
because it worked for me.
somehow-
xD

well-
i've no idea what to post today anyway.
i only know i've carried home a whole stack of books.
and tml i'm free from that load-
xDDD
yeahh-
my arms are aching so terribly now.
LOL.
wooooh~
thats it for today.
=)
and guess what.
when i was arranging my little cupboard just now,
i came across this little piece of paper underneath a photo frame.
it seemed a little familiar ;
but i forgot what i wrote on it.
so i opened it,
and heres whats on it-

Dearest Santa,

This Christmas, i wish for a good friend who would give me a warm hug.
Thank you!

Lots of love,
Sylvia

i think i wrote it last year.
so i referred to my diary.
and yeah-
i was feeling so terrible then and christmas was approaching.
so i thought santa could help.
hahahs.
xD
so i flipped, and flipped ; and flipped.
and i reached this page with smudges on it.
my handwriting was the most horrid on this page.
so i read to find out why.
and i realised.
i had been writing in the dark secretly so as not to let my mum know that this diary existed.
LOL
my mum found out anyway.
i left it lying around one day when i rushed out of the house and misplaced it.
wahahahs.
little little memories.
even the worst of all situations seem to be so amusing now.
so i guess nothing is really that bad.
x))

i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry.
i'm really sorry.

wahahahs-
i'm talking to yue an on the phone now,
and shes CRAZYYYYY-
lmao; xD
lalalas~
anyway ;
today was quite tiring.
and i'm so glad its over.
i'm sorry.
i'm really REALLY sorry.
we're still best friends, right?
=)))
i'm really sorry.
really really-

life goes on-

hmmm.
i think i need to be open about it.
stop deceiving myself.
stop shutting myself up.
i needa speak.
and i need to face reality.
i hope this isn't complusive.
and i don't know the consequences.
all i know now is-
if this carries on.
i'll never be able to bring myself up with confidence again.
and i'll feel guilty.
:s
it might hurt.
but i'd rather it sooner than later.
i'm sorry.

how delightful can this term be.
i've passed my emaths test FINALLY.
and my PHYSICS!!!!!
xDDD
hahahas-
and i improved on my geography.
like HOLA HOLA!!
lalalas~
but today's amaths was a little difficult for me.
xD
lalalas.
can't be bothered anymore since its over-
the exams are like_ NEXT WEEK.
so horrifying.
time passes so fast.
and i havent had time to look back yet.
=))
how time flies-

maybe one day you'll find out-
but till then ;
i'll still be yours to keep.

today was absolutely fattening.
i was eating nonstop!!!!!
xDD
i met up with my cousin for breakfast in macs.
and i had a whole meal to myself -like always.
=))
then i went over to my aunt's house.
and i ate alot of candies my cousin bought from overseas.
then when i got home,
i gobbled two hazelnut minis.
YUMM-
then soon after my mum came back from her manicure cum pedicure session,
she took us out for sushi!
i was sitting there for half an hour and eating nonstop.
i tried out loads of fish.
and there was this plate i took that had a weird looking slice of meat on it.
well,
half of it was covered a beautiful red and the other was white.
when i flipped it over, it was yellowish.
it tasted bitter.
and then my mum said something so DEAPPETISING.
she told me it COULD be GOLDFISH.
and i spat it out immediately and lost my tummy flipped.
xDD
EEWW-
yuck.
anyway.. we went to gift a name.
and i browsed through a prank section.
there was this extra large condom.
and it says on the tag that it was tested on a african elephant.
oh well-
that was funny.
xDD
and now.
i've completed chemistry with the help of theresa.
and kaung didnt help much for maths.
xPPP
oh well.
i think i'm gonna fail maths tml..
xD
nites.

perhaps i can't really relate.
from me to you and you to me.
no matter how much these events remind me the other,
i can't bring myself to bring it up.
indulging in self pity isn't wrong..
because i used to do it too.
losing friends is painful.
because i lost all of them before.
having to see your other friends interact with them while you can't is miserable jealousy.
because misery loved me so.
hearing only their voice is something we yearn for.
because i wanted very much to let their voice belong to me only.
knowing they brushed past you without a sound is heart breaking.
until i feel no pain at all.
i don't understand but i seem to feel so much when such events take place.
our incidents relate to each other so much,
i seem to know how it feels when it happens.
yet,
i can't seem to be able to tell you that i know how you feel because maybe i dont.
i can't seem to comfort you because i found no comfort when i went through it.
i can't seem to provide a solution because i never solved mine at all.
if you EVER wondered how i managed to tide through it.
it was by sheer luck,
because i found you ;
somehow-
and through you i found joy.
you just managed to carry my mind out of their thoughts and fill it with thoughts.
even though i never found comfort,
you were my little pillar of life.
so now,
i just hope you find some pillar of strength.
no one thinks you're super.
no one is.
have a little faith.
smile a little more.
pick yourself up and move on.
because when that day comes,
when you two start your friendship all over again,
you're gonna be someone new.
and you're gonna have so much more to share!
=))
life is so much more beautiful than it seems.
cheer up.
i wish you happiness.
x))

heres another post for today.
i guess i just needed somewhere to spill.
=my bro.
hes somewhere between entering a poly and going into ns.
and.
my mum's drowning me with all the reasons why my aunt, my dad and her is are hesitating to pay his fees.
and im a little bothered by it.
i think i'm getting a little of my mum's point.
hmmm.
i wonder whats going to happen.
i've no idea myself yar.
=/
whatever.


i guess its time i started gaining control over my emotions.
or overall, myself.
i'm losing it.
all over again.
='(
i wish you luck.

it has been ages since i've stepped into my home early.
and i'm a little blue today.
so much for those little thoughts.
hmmm-
one word could mean lots of things.
it depends yar..
but i can't help but think negatively.
oh well.
and i was a little disappointed in school today.
i didnt expect such behavior from some.
despising others doesnt push your social status any higher ;
=(

now i wonder.
how i used to be last time.
because i feel that i've changed.
in fact,
i have.
lost a little faith and courage.
lost that peace of mind i used to have.
and i'm lost in those little rules of life i used to believe in.
hmmm.
in fact.
i've forgotten some.
oh wells.
i guess i havent found myself lahs.

not much of time these days.
i'm so tied up.
busy busy.
packed up schedules and stuff like that.
xD
add up those crazy band schedules.
and extra lessons after school.
exhausting exhausting.
i'm out of breath already.
hahahas.
tralalas~

metamorphosis-

hahahs-
oh well.
how funny.
my mum is quarelling with my bro-
over him wanting to enter a unknown school to take up a course.
in which doing so,
he will be deferred from ns for another year.
which my mother is so against that idea.
she prefers my bro to go into ns AND take up a course while serving.
which my bro doesnt approve.
he feels that its tiring.
but i think its because he cant bare to part with my future sister in law.
LOL.
oh wells-
it was really funny just now.
i was giggling while they were bickering.
xD
hahahs.
it has been ages since out family ever joked together.
oh well-

school was ok as usual.
since all i ever do in lessons is play with yue an or sleep.
so..
yeah.
hahahs.
band was great.
we had this musical exchange programme ytd.
and there were like 2 trombone players from their band.
christine and suzzannah-
13 and 16 respectively.
they are from Sacred Heart College, Western Australia, Perth.
cool huh.
christine had big eyes and long lashes.
hahahs.
and her english accent was pretty strong.
shes a year younger than me and i don't really click with her.
but she gave me her school badge.
so yeah.-
=D
hahahs.
suzzanah was more fun than i thought.
debbie and me were like chatting with her so much.
and she gave debbie her school badge.
and i gave her our school button and debbie gave her a bottle of liquid slide oil.
she was great.
honestly.
hahahs.
xD
and today,
even though i was late for it,
i didnt miss out much.
they were still practicing majulah for this friday's performance at the combined sports meet.
mr png gave us 4 new pieces.
fun fun fun.
LOL.
oh wells-
i think im starting to appreciate this new conductor.
hahahs.

perhaps its best if things go this way.
=)

like woohoo!
i actually STUDIED for my class tests!
xDD
surprising eh!
hahahas.
oh well.
i'm really delighted these days.
apart from the moment i found out my phone was dilapidated.
oh whatever-
its just a phone.
besides,
my mum promised to buy me a phone in JUNE!
=DD
oh yeah!
lalalas~
lessons still dont interest me.
so i usually do my studying at home.
and here i am.
im going to do my usual study routine now.
and my bro is BACK!
HOOORAYY!!!!!

<3

ytd was fun!
yes.
horribly fun!
(i used the word horribly because it sort of ended a little negatively.)
oh well.
i met up with them at east coast.
and yue an was late!
xD
wahahahas.
then we rented blades and bikes.
wilson walked.
WOOHOO.
he still managed to catch up.
then the hougang bladerz met up.
and it started to pour.
we had lunch at macs and then we decided to walk in the rain.
(we - as in yuean, kaung and me. the rest sat at macs. xP)
then yuean and kaung dipped into the sea.
and they dragged me down.
then kaung almost drowned me.
i swallowed three bloody mouthfuls of sea water-
which eventually cured my sore throat.
and yue an was teaching kaung how to float.
and he sinked.
and yuean tried floating with her back facing up.
which was a little scary.
hahahhas.
xD
fun.
the NOT fun part was.
my phone drowned in my bag-
we found out only when we opened the bag to see that water accumulated in the bag and couldnt get out because it was waterproof.
x((((
oh well.
then we took a bus to compass point.
and met up with WANXIN AND JIARONG - plus fredrick ; xD
nice names huh. x)))
we went to buy snacks and FAKE champagne.
sat at the poolside.
then the guys (except kaung) started playing Yu-Gi-Oh cards. xD
so we went to buy fast food instead.
then when we came back,
they were still at it.
xD
and fredrick was so lame.
oh wells.
and then the misfortune starts.
my mum screams over the phone.
and i have to rush back home.
and KAUNG ATE MY KFC.
dont think i dunno. tsk tsk.
and i starved the whole night.
the reason why mu mum screamed?
oh wells.
personal reasons not meant for public knowledge.
xD
but oh well.
the only miracle was-
my mum didnt scream at me when she learnt that my phone was DEAD.
she even offered to send it for servicing and pay for it!
heheh.
oh well.
so i spent the whole day today at the service centre waiting for my turn.
then i went over to my aunt's home.
and i was engrossed in her variation sudoku.
I CANNOT SOLVE LAHS.
hai yo...
and ebi is SOOOOOOO cute.
she is sooooooooo FLUFFY!
(in case you don't know, ebi is my aunt's dog. =) )
still the same size of course.
and my little niece taught me something.
oh well.
its funny ok!!!
do this :
pretend you think someone is crazy and you dont wish to spell it out.
so if shes on your left,
you use your right hand's index finger pointing to the person and pretend to brush your teeth in a forward backward motion.
and say : " i brush my teeth"
then use the same finger and start circling the side of your head in a clockwise motion.
and say: "and comb my hair"
honestly.
its DUMB.
if you dont get it.
i suppose you're just as slow as me.
xD
wahahahas.
anyway.
here i am.
back here at home.
and yepp!!!!
xD
im fine people!!
now,
i 'm going to lodge a complaint to my future sis-in-law.
xD
tra lalalas~
ciaos

i know posting twice a day is like so weird.
but i came across this stupid little quiz thing that works for me.
or at least-
it almost worked.
i got it from the friendster bulletin board.
so if you're interested,
grab a pen and a piece of paper and read :

whatever you do, don't cheat!

FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS -DO NOT CHEATOR IT WON'T WORK ANDYOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.
TAKE 3 MINUTES TO TRY THIS -
DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.

1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.

4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.



1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 to 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT









2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,WRITE DOWN ANY2 NUMBERS YOU WANT. your favourtie number?








3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.





CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT







4. WRITE ANYONE'S NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)next to 4, 5, & 6.





DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID







5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11










READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME

1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in SPACE 2

2.THE PERSON IN SPACE3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE

3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK OUT is in SPACE 7

4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4

5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.

6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOURLUCKY STAR

7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3

8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7

9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND

10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING YOU HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE

11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER.


oh well-
did you freak out?!
i did at least!
xD

this morning was slightly disappointing.
but oh well-
wahahahs.
and throughout the whole day i was contradicting myself.
finding reasons and faults and analysing and thinking etc..
and i came up with a CONCLUSION!!
WOOOHOOOO!!!
interested to know!??????
**drum rolls**
*************
TA DA!-
-I FORGET EVERYTHING-
that means to say.
no more evil dersires, evil wishes, evil thoughts..
JUST HAPPINESS.
i sort of redefined that as artificial happiness because i havent found the real thing yet.
xD
oh wells.
how i wish i could share this piece of happiness with the both of you.
=D
goodbye frowns.
hello smiles~!
tralalalas~
now.
my mission is to find myself and piece it back.
x))

great day.
i only woke up a little late.
hahahas-
i havent felt like this in a long time.
x))
i ate loads lahs..
i spent SO MUCH money on food.
hahahs.
oh well-
too bad im happy.
xD
and when i picked my sister up from school today,
i kept calling her yuean.
i dont know why.
and she was giving me that weird face.
and i kept apologising.
oh well.
hahahs.
the weather is PERFECT!
but its still warm.
hahahs.
lalalas~
im practically bored lahs.
oh well.
im sooooooo SOOOOOOOO high.!
tralalalas~
xD

i'm listening to a korean song.
and its bubbly.
so im a little high now.
=D
believe it or not.
i'm feeling much better now.
i've sort of sorted it out.
to this special someone.
thank you.
:)
i wonder why.
but even though we were just conversing.
i felt so much better.
x))
oh well.
life goes on just as shall.
and i shall live like i should.
=D

i took so long to type something into this blog entry.
so i managed to start off with that stupid sentence.
and that stupid sentence together with this idiotic sentence altogether.
i've been typing and backspacing and typing and backspacing for the last 50 minutes and nothing has come out.
hmmmm-
imagine sitting in front a screen for the past hour and only realising that you typed nonsense.
BAAAA-
i feel so dumb.
x(
and guess what.
when im typing this sentence, its already and hour plus.
ughhhhhh-
can someone just crack me up?
because i cant seem to open myself.
.....
=(

i'm tired today.
really very tired.
i dont know why either.
just probably exhausted or something.
i felt so lethargic after school i didnt feel like speaking.
i only felt like eating and eating non-stop.
a little confused at whats taking place right now.
life's a little messy.
i can't seem to sort out my thoughts.
just keeping it deep within me.
maybe this feeling will go off soon.
i hope.
so many memories flooding me.
so many thoughts drowning me.
so many desires swallowing me.
i just can't say it.
i really can't put them in words.
no one will get it i suppose.
this strange sense of uneasiness.
dreams that creep up on me late at night.
wishes that i hope for to come true.
tragedies that condemn my life.
oh whatever.
i hope to wake up to a brand new day tml.
no more frowns.
just smiles and forever more.

how i wish-

i feel like screaming at the top of my voice.
i feel like going crazy and be myself.
i feel like having fun like there's no tomorrow.
;)
but oh well-
its better to have a normal life thats calm and peaceful.
=)
ultraviolet was DAMN cool.
woah woah ok.
violet was hot!
she was like killing and stuff like that.
WAHAHAHAS.
i feel so sadistic.
and she was out to save six.
a clone of an ingenious evil human.
i think she couldn't bear to kill the child simply because she had an abortion before.
xD
and shes a vampire.
LIKE WOAH WOAH WOAH.
this movie was sort of futuristic.
her cell phone number changes every 60 seconds to prevent people from tracking her down.
and you can simply buy a high tech disposable paper cell phone on the street.
this cellphone can call, track and project a 3D image of oneself.
LIKE WOAH HO.
credit cards were also wearable bracelets.
plus.
her clothes changes colour every now and then to either suit the environment or something she's in contact with.
like when she bleeds, her clothes turn red etc...
weapons are actually software that you store in hi tech gloves.
obviously, when you wanna use it, you summon it at will.
and theres simply no hassle of bringing those heavy objects wherever you go.
xD
the only traumatising part was when she posed as a patient with the contagious disease and went in for a routine checkup.
obviously this person she posed as was someone who was of service to that ingenious evil human.
so here goes.
when they need to extract blood samples,
they POKE ONE LARGE ROD into your WRISTS, two NEEDLES into your EYEBALLS and start extracting.
LIKE YUCK.
omi gosh.
i almost lost my appetite.
wahahahahs.
and the rest of the movie was mostly her killing others.
its like WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH.
oh well.
just catch the movie kaes.
there is just simply too much to put into words.
xD
when i got home,
i just had this urge to do housework.
so i went vacuuming the floor,
washing the cups and plates,
making the bed and stuff like that.
even when my mum came home and made me cook for my dog and stuff like that,
i obliged without much hesitation.
weird eh?
hahahs.
i even smiled at my sis when i knew she was trying to be rude.
lol.
well.
i guess i all starts with a little courtesy that brings the smile around.
even my dog is snuggling up beside my chair and lying down like a floor mat.
hahahs.
i wonder whether he'll be the same after he's sterilised.
x))
lalalas~
anyhow,
im all smiles now.
no frowns at all.
:)

maybe its because i finally knew what was bothering you all along that made me heave a sigh of relief.
but all in all, it might not be so.
i might be illusionating.
but i do have a hunch.
:)

drifting drifting~
i've no idea whats happening.
what i know is,
all this silence kills.
i'm feeling insecure all of a sudden.
like im so unimportant to you.
like you dont care anymore.
like i've no place in your life.
or worse.
i have no idea how come i thought of such things.
but honestly.
i don't know what to do.
just let my thoughts run wild.
i've no idea what to say.
no words come through.
i just hope to listen to you.
yet you say nothing at all-
oh well.
:s

ilu. :)

when everyone else is glued to the tv screen,
im hiding in my bro's room blogging.
what. the heck.
x))
honestly,
i've never felt worse this week.
i had to wake up so early just to go to the mandai columbarium.
and when i got there,
i almost got suffocated.
smoke, people, fire, incense.
i almost melted under the sun.
yepp.
but i just got so overwhelmed with grief when i saw my grandma's picture.
well.
honestly, i miss her.
alot.
oh well.
then we got home-
and i was observing this old man while walking to the bus stop.
he had a really warm and friendly grandpa look.
his cheeks were sagging and his eyes were sunken.
wrinkles covered his forehead and his eyelids were so thick i couldnt see his eyes at all.
yet,
i suddenly had this thought that his grandhildren were so fortunate to have him.
=)
my aunt also told me about my grandpa.
i had two-
thats to say,
my grandma went through two marriages.
and her first husband was arrested by the japanese in the world war and killed.
so she married my grandpa who was 20 years older than her.
i was somewhat taken aback.
but i concluded, my grandma is one extraordinary woman.
:)
then my mum told me about how we (my bro, my sis and me) were like when we were first born.
my mum said my bro looked very much like a girl because of his fair skin and small physique.
and the nurses loved him alot-
thats to say, he was quite popular with girls during the first few days he was brought to this earth.
me?
oh well.
my mum said i had dark skin so a nurse mistook me for some malay kid.
she even gave me a name : fatimah.
lol.
but my mum said i was really easy to take care of-
because i seldom cry.
all i ever do in my younger years was drink milk and sleep.
xD
my sis.....
shes one spoilt brat.
hahahas.
oh well.
lets not talk about her.
im quite pissed with her.
hmmm.
and then the rain came down in the late afternoon.
it sort of affected my mood.
i was feeling so blue i didnt want to talk.
yet i really wanted to call someone.
oh well.
i cant be bothered with homework.
so i slammed my book shut and went to watch tv.
but i felt so restless i couldnt stay put.
so i got a whole list of housechores from my mum to keep me busy.
hahs....
yepp.
tml's going to be another tiring day..
band and stuff.
oh well...
i think im going off.
ciaos`


if only you knew how i felt.
if only- you knew.

its the weekend already!!
=)
HAPPY APRIL'S FOOLS EVERYONE!
i wonder whether to smile or frown.
hmmmmmm-
im just afraid of what this month might bring.
oh well-
*shrugs*
anyway ;
i've recently just finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha.
its pretty interesting with a happy ending.
i so so looveee this book.
and i look forward to watching THE MOVIE.
arthur lent me the dvd!
yeahs-
i didnt have to spend it on the movie ticket plus popcorn and nachos and drinks.
x))
i'm so exhausted from all those band practices.
three consecutive days of parade and concert rehersals.
my neck is stiff and my arms ache.
we are still having band practices on monday again.
ugghhh-
i can't wait for all those performances to end.
then i can just simply skip band and go play.
xD
how i wish all these responsibilities can be shaken off my shoulders.
heavy burdens i have.
im so exhausted already.
entertaining nonsensical desires in my mind.
making entirely out of this world wishes sometimes.
feeling guilty when i hope for some events to take place when it shouldn't.
i'm so tired of it.
i want to create my own destiny and not get caught up with choices.
oh well.
i guess i just need some time on my own.
:(

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.