I was exceptionally excited about waking up today. Can't really figure out why, but the mild intensity of hype and happiness drove me out of bed.

I fulfilled my 'daylight promise' to my sister too. Kept her hair neat, and in place before sending her to the bus stop.
My mum was a little upset though. Maybe she's missing out on a lil' bit of laughter.

Genting with Gary has been confirmed and now I'm secretly looking forward to my holidays. (ok, maybe my secret has blown its cover, but whatever!) Guangzhou and Hongkong with B2 / Little Red Nose / Ahzhuang / ZhuangZhuang / Best Friend plus Genting with Garygary will be awesome to the max!

The Barbie Presentation today is gonna be the last of the season for me. The previous few seasons all passed with a blink of an eye. This marked the end, of something close to my heart.
We'll never work in close proximity again. Apart from canteens and common roads, our paths will no longer cross. Life was much more colorful I guess. But I'll never know how colorful life could be later on. So I'll hold on, and anticipate.

Rooth gave me a blog link ytd. It was created and written by the parents of a little baby girl called Taylor. Taylor was born premature, and had an ailing body. She was helpless, weak but full of life. Or at least, that was how her parents described her to be. But she was loved, embraced, touched and showered with endless passion and attention from people close to her, around her, and all over the world. These are situations where the purest of love ooze out of every mankind. I think little Taylor will be pleased, knowing she inspired so many people by just living life the best way she could. :)
Thank you Taylor. Thank you rooth.
Anyhoos, after I read Taylor's blog, the first thing that came to my mind was: ' The first person I want to meet after I die, is Taylor.'
haha.

Now I'm hustling through the morning crowd. Singaporeans are so darn busy, and fast! :D and I'm one of them! :D
Good Morning world!

I finally understand why many people love sleeping.
Sleeping is healthy, peaceful, and a carefree way of passing time. You just close your eyes, and almost immediately, you're rid of all the troubles of your life.

Or maybe, thats just what i think. Sleeping seems to be the best solution I've found to cast aside my worries for some time and just find peace.

Though occassionally my new found worries and troubles may seep into my dreams through the loopholes of my subconscience, facing them in peace seems to be a better option for me, than dealing with them in reality.

Escaping reality was never my emergency escape route. But now, I can only conclude I took a wrong turn and ended up at the wrong place. Unfamiliar, unaccompanied, totally afraid.

Fear seems to have also taken up many definitions in my vocabulary bank. Weakness overwhelms me more than ever.
I swore to myself to walk with full stride, and a heart of courage, but it was just that - that I lacked.

Maybe sleeping will work again. Or I'll have to show myself how much more I'm worth before I can find my place in the world once more. Life was so much easier on the right track. Foolish turns and notorious misbehavior turned me away from where I was initially headed.

Now, finding my way back is going to take me 3 times the period, and an endless amount of suffering and pain.
Smiles and laughter may persist in my case, but they would all be just an empty nutcase trying to let loose.
Numbness. Helplessness. Pain. Guilt.
That sums up everything already.

If only I could convince myself, that life was still beautiful. Then maybe life would be, beautiful.
But is it?

I found out my allergy.
Initially I thought I was sensitive to wood. Because I would always get rashes all over when I had contact with wood.

But I just discovered, I was allergic to Honey.
*sigh

How did I know?
I ate Honey BBQ Pork last night and had an allergy reaction with red patches forming all over my calves.
and now, I just drank Honey Red Tea and I have red spots all over my thighs.

I love Honey, but since when did I ever become so sensitive to it. :(

I always almost forget, that a coin has 2 sides.
Just like how every story, could have 2 perspectives. Or how we would always require 2 hands to clap.

Maybe that's how I see it at least. Because I've always been so absorbed in myself. I've neglected the people closest to me - and how they felt.

I know that little actions mean a lot to me.
What I forgot to remind myself about was - little actions of mine meant a lot to the people around me too.

First shattered and then overwhelmed with extreme sensitivity,
I realized how much I have missed out and hurt another by just isolating myself within myself.
That was more recent.

Maybe I found out, I've been hurting someone so bad, and neglecting that person for such a long period of time - he has given up on me.
I never really thought much into this friendship. Never gave it much attention.
But now it hurts.

I must be the most shallow minded and near sighted woman in the world.
Hurting people on the sidelines seem to be something I do subconsciously (now how evil is that).

I really hate myself now.

Shattered, hurt, disgusted, upset.
Life meant so much more, until today.
A beautiful facade, what once was;

Frozen pieces lay on the ground,
for the curious to understand - and play around.

Pain expressed as agony;
Agony leads to raging streams.

Wandering mind that sees no gleam,
the body is cold - a catastrophe.

Inamorato, I love you dear.
comprenez svp, j'ont besoin de votre amour.

Sunday was a little boring, and moody. Apart from the big bag of clothes, Phineas and Ferb episodes and fan washing, I was basically decomposing, and half dead.

My energy seems to have been sucked out of me. Forlorn, and in despair. Maybe its time to get out and know someone else. Someone new. Like a new friend who bring me new insights, show me horizons I've never seen in life.

I'm much looking forward to some time on the beach. Maybe there's where I'll find peace.

Laptops ahoy, its the time of the day!
We whip out our fingers and we start clicking away.
Typing and surfing and reading we do,
The faster and crazier information comes through!

Barbies are beauty, Barbies are dead.
The doll that all females admire, are fake.
Imagination brings wonders; that girls enjoy,
But why would dead Barbies - bring about such joy?

The New Year seemed exciting, especially when the neighborhood started to roar with cheers at 12 today. My mother was specifically delighted to be watching her favorite Hong Kong Drama till the wee hours, and my sister was laughing her head off watching Phineas and Ferb in action. I'm not sure how the rest of the world counted down to today, but my home felt cosy enough. :)

Happy New Year people.
Because this new year's gonna be pretty eventful. :D

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.