Sometimes I just wished I was thinking way too much. Because I know I think a lot. But I never doubted the feelings I had for everything and everyone around me.

Sometimes I trust the feelings I have way too much. Because I know I feel a lot. But I never lost faith in the hearts of everything and everyone I believe in.

Right now, I'm losing it.
Thought too hard, thought too much.
Theres so much to this whole thing - it matters too much.

Clinging on to every word. I feel like such an idiot.
Too much pride in the way. I know how much I deny myself the right to feel the way I do.

All I want to say - all choked up within me. Doesn't take much to say those sentences, but it seems to cost me so much more. I'm afraid of something. Probably that fear is enough to make me cower behind sheer idiocy. How cowardly.

Focused so much on everything else, lost touch with what was more essential. The distance feels so much greater - or maybe vice versa was something I was never granted.

Still denying myself the right to want or need. Emptiness envelops me. I just don't have that right to make anything else happen. And I keep wondering what's on your mind.

Dilapidated; strewn pieces of thoughts all torn and worn.
Origins traced back to the times of a flashing Lighthouse and calm seas.
Never lose faith; but how much can I hold on to?
Tumbling down the hill of falsity;
Gregarious mornings have yet to arrive.
Opening doors that keep slamming shut on my face.

Ok?

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.