it should be this feeling.
when relatives come together to talk about everything.
a little warmth and a tickling sense of happiness.
it should be this feeling.
when you cannot assure yourself that your closed one is safe.
a sense of fear and horrid imagination.
it should be like this.

i feel jealousy creeping out of me when i see my cousin so close to her kids.
she and her well-to-do family.
its strange how my father's family can treat each other like old flames even when they have not met for ages.
like how they manage to treat me like a part of them even when i never seem to have taken the initiative to talk to them before.
even my sister can blend in with her kids and go crazy when they never knew each other before.
i now see the difference-
between how my father views life and how my mum views it too.
my father never lacked of family support and trust.
my mum never seem to have gained any trust from her family since she was young.
she seemed to have been entrusted with the responsibilty of taking care of her sister.
so yeah.
i guess i understand alot more.

and btw,
you guys should catch A Haunting and Zero Hour(s) on Discovery Channel.
its too cool.
Zero Hour featured Capturing Saddam ytd.
they interviewed the iraqi who worked for the american army as a translator and was at the scene when they discovered and found saddam hussein in his well hidden bunker.
he even took a photo with him.
cool. but nevertheless thrilling.
=D

salty. sweet. sour. bitter.
taste the world.

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.