i just don't get it.
how come my mum don't behave like normal mums.
shes totally weird.
she always thinks i'm up to something bad behind her back.
or i'm hanging out with my friends when i come back late from school.
she expects consent forms whenever i have last minute remedials ;
like i'm from primary school.
makes me rush back after school to get my sis from the student care.
call her to inform her im home only to get more and more and more nagging and nonsense from her.
she blows up whenever shes feeling stressed at work.
and how does she blow up?
she blames me for everything that goes wrong.
she screams at the top of her voice when i reason with her.
and she threatens to talk to my principal.
like HELLO.
im FOURTEEN turning FIFTEEN.
like she don't know.
i accept the fact that she doesnt like me going out.
so fine. be it.
i stay at home.
but i try to stay at school longer to spend time with friends.
and she thinks im hanging around.
:(
she still thinks school ends at 1.30 everyday and my darling daughter should be back at 2.
LIKE WHICH SECONDARY SCHOOL STUDENT LEAVES THE SCHOOL AT SUCH A TIME THESE DAYS.
she thinks cca's are supposed to end at the exact time stated in the timetable.
LIKE WHICH CCA RELEASES THEIR MEMBERS SO PUNCTUAL THESE DAYS.
she expects me to tell her the exact time i can be home everyday.
LIKE HOW DO I KNOW.
and she is one of those abnormal mums who invades privacy.
i can swear she read all my smses in my inbox while i was at camp.
:s
i so totally broke down today ok.
my sis made me wait outside her care center for 40 minutes.
and when she came out she told me she was PLAYING.
like normally she makes me wait for 10 minutes as she was completing homework,
i dont think i will go mad.
but she was PLAYING.
my goodness.
so i blew up.
add on the half-an-hour-non-stop-nagging-and-screaming over the phone by my mum.
i totally went bonkers.
there are a few attitude problems with my sis.
1. she doesn't like to admit that shes wrong ;
even when you catch her red handed.
2. she doesn't have the habit of apologising ;
she just shouts back like you're in the wrong instead.
3. she doesn't stand up to admit her wrongdoings when someone else is being scolded in her place ;
she doesn't feel the least bit guilty at all.
and i think i got quite enough of her already.
so i ticked her off.
but don't worry.
she wasn't the least affected.
because she didn't apologise,
and she started shouting at me like i'm wrong;
and made my mum misunderstand that i was at fault.
so i had to bear another half an hour of non- stop nagging.
:(
i've had quite enough of my family already.
my mum wont tell me about her problems because they are mostly related to my dad.
and because of my relationship with my dad.
she'll just keep it to herself.
and then blow up at me when she cant take it anymore.
and my sis?
she only smiles at me when she asks me to teach her music.
the rest of the time,
she treats me like a maid hired to serve her.
:(
yes.
my mum isn't hateful.
but i cant stand the way she tries to discipline me.
neither can i stand the way my sis treats me now.
i feel like shutting myself out of this house right now.
and my mum just told me she will be bringing me out of the house tml for breakfast.
and guess what-
i told her a few seconds ago that i wanted to stay at home the whole day to complete my holiday assignments.
:(
i just dont get it okaes.
and im screwing up.
i just dont feel like going home anymore.
i only belong to my little bed.
thats it.
the only time when i get to have time for myself and drown in my thoughts.
when will my mum just get a life.
:(

i thought,
maybe you will be able to make my day.
but i such little bit of happiness wont keep out this overwhelming amount of disappointment i got today.
yet i still smile when i recall that moment amongst the amany frowns i had.
thank you.
:)

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.