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Scribbling [a] Runaway History


Like Shakespeare in Love


Hello (:

I'm Sylvia. I enjoy the company of good friends and food.
I'm currently,
serving as a chair at Teck Ghee Youth Executive Committee;
chasing dreams at Molehill;
and doing Marketing & Public Relations at Levitate Studios.

Join my endeavors with the following:
Singapore Open Gaming Convention 2015
SG50 Countdown Party @ Bishan Park
via Teck Ghee YEC and social media!

Drop a note and say hello if you'd like! (:
my Instagram
my Facebook
my Twitter
Email me.


Sylvia Phua
Sylvia Phua
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Sunday, 21 December 2008
A Random Reflection.
Well, recently I haven't been blogging. Firstly because my internet was down. Secondly, I was in the midst of the common tests. And lastly, I had no mood to blog at all.

So minutes came and went, and its finally DECEMBER! :D I've made more Friends (alot more!) with the time that would be spent in front of the screen. (: I've found a job at Sentosa 4D Magix. I've spent time with my beloved Trombone section. I've had a steamboat with 2effusion. I've had fun bbq-ing with the divers. I've spent many days with Gary. Danzation and all.
Time just seems to fly.

Everyday you are posed with many questions in life. Some you have answers, some you don't. Some you don't know whether you do or you don't.

Someone asked me, who do you love?

I would usually smile sheepishly, then start the list. My family, my friends, person A, person B, person C etcetc. but somehow, I would be very embarrassed to announce the name of the person who matters the most to me. Why? I don't know. But when I think back, I realized, its not that I don't know. I just refuse to admit it. That's all. Why should you be ashamed to let others know your heart is taken? I'm glad I've given it to Gary. (:

Then someone asked me, what would be the hardest thing for you to do?

It took me a while. Was it eating raw human meat? Jumping down the 24th storey of a HDB block? or camping overnight at Old Changi Hospital? Yeah, it would be hard. And these answers would be sufficient to sweep the question off. but honestly, it isn't that hard. When you're driven to desperation, you would eat raw human meat for survival, jump down the 24th storey to avoid being killed by your most hated enemy, and camp overnight at Old Changi Hospital in a bid to prove how long your guts is.
No, these aren't that hard to do at all.

What's really hard? Its telling someone how much you love and care for that person. Or saying something that totally contravenes what you feel for someone else.
Imagine you're facing your one true love. You look him in the eye, and tell him you don't love him. You show no emotion when he starts to cry. And you walk away pretending he never mattered to you. Can you do it? I know I can't.
I can't do the opposite too. I never mustered enough courage to tell anyone straight in the face how much he/she meant to me. It doesn't count if you text, or write letters. Its not that hard actually. Its just a matter of you putting aside your ego and admitting. (: I confess. I'm in love with this boy. He's Gary. I love my family. They mean everything. I love my friends. They're always there. (:

And just 2 days ago, someone asked me. "Have you ever wavered?"

I hastily replied, "No!" My friend just typed "Ok. If you say so. (:" That question kept me flipping in my bed for hours. Why am I so sure? Then I realized, the answer was just an act of cowardice. Something I said to cover for the things I've done. Frankly speaking. I wavered. More than once. For more than a second or two. I get enticed by what others have to offer. Yet, every time, I would wake up from all that. I would be reminded of the very first day I became Gary's girlfriend. Yes, it sounds cliched. His offer was definitely more enticing than anything presented to me now. and with my acceptance, a contract has been formed! (:
I'm sorry Gary, for having wavered at all.

Now, I know nothing will completely fall apart. I know for sure, someone will be there to catch me when I fall. Pick me up when I'm down. Make me smile when I frown. Cheer me up when I'm upset. Show me the light when I've lost all hope. Bring me out when I'm cooped up. and give me a hug when I need one.

When the whole world seems to have turned its back on you, turn around, and you'll see the world again. (: