the exams are almost over.
or for me ;
its all over already.
who bothers about the home cons paper?
LOL.
today's maths paper was a total mess.
even though i found it simpler than the previous tests.
but!
i couldn't manage to complete the last qns.
thanks to those typo errors mr raffi typed out.
a total wastage of time.
haiiiiiiiiiiii yeerrrrrrrr...
i feel like strangling him.
8 marks down the drain.
JUST LIKE THAT.
don't you feel angry!?
okay.
you won't.
i would.
hehehs.
=D
well i guess thats all for the exam week bahs.
no more screwed up eyebrows ;
no more forehead wrinkles ;
no more sleepless nights.
everything is OVER.
at least for now.

i wonder ;
what the hell is wrong with me.
i can't help but stare at the opposite class.
hoping to catch a glimspe.
but i tell myself over and over again.
its never going to come back.
i can't seem to smile much these days.
nothing seems worthwhile.
maybe you are right theresa.
i only know how to treasure the past.
what more can i do?
i can't help but shed tears of sorrow.
memories once had but lost.
maybe its just some sort of retribution.
something i have done in the past.
but i can't believe i am letting myself be hurt by these things i can control.
i can. but i just won't.
call me dumb.
i can't help it.
i see them.
and i wonder.
why can't i just be a little more understanding previously.
i don't regret.
but i don't understand.
maybe this is just an excuse to make me feel better.
believing in the existance of fate means alot to me.
and everything i see that can revoke the past ;
could mean something.
i believe its not good.
therefore i conclude it a bad omen.
i wish to smile like before.
i wish i could.
but there seems to be nothing worth living for other than my sister and my family.
i know i need more than them.
but i can't find anyone else.
no one shines in my eyes.
my world suddenly turns dull.
nothing turns me on.
i seem to have shut myself out of this pleasant world i once believed in.
a world filled with so called tulips.
even if it is true.
i guess the flowers don't bloom.
its winter in temperate countries.
and now.
i get it.
how i wish i could have a break.
a break from everything.
be myself.
and for once,
do everything i wish to do.
find someone that puts a smile on my face.
someone who brightens my day.
someone who lights up my life.
just someone who shines in my eyes.
can anyone?
just anyone would do.
mann.
i feel like i am crashing on this world.
='(

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.