i am so messed up and confused.
like red beans and green beans scattered all over the floor.
i have already decided.
made a decision from reasons that convinced me so well.
but now i don't know why.
i feel flustered.
i don't know what to do.
i scratch my head at times.
knock it sometimes.
asking myself what am i doing.
but honestly.
i don't know.
i don't know.
i can't untie this little knot in my heart.
my 'not so warm' heart.
its turning cold.
i suppose.
its like supressing all the bood from being pumped out.
maybe those times will never come back.
but it will never have a chance to happen all over again.
it will be beautiful memories.
but just some memories from long ago.
even now.
i can't sort out what the hell i am talking about here.
i am just typing to just vent it all out.
i am going insane.
its a misunderstanding.
or is it not?
i don't know how it became like this.
but it just did.
maybe i just have to learn my lesson the hard way.
i just have to fall and pick myself up again.
but this fall seems to be caused by someone pushing me.
or in a more polite way,
someone tripping me.
arghhh.
whatever it is.
i am almost knocked out.
do things have to end up like this.
a dead knot never to be untied?
can someone just confront me and clarify things?
OH MAN.
i would rather be beaten up then just sitting in front of the com screen.
imagining ; infering
whatever it is.
i just want this matter cleared up.
even if its gonna be red and green beans all together.
at least its gonna be clean.
spick and span.
good luck guys.
the eoy`s are approaching.
Go GO!
=D

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.