because sounds creates illusions.
and words creates assumptions.
and wrong impressions and hideous deceptions put across incorrect messages.
misinterpretation lead to misconception.
and bogus conclusions arises.

don't presume and make it sound true.
don't tell me what i already told you and make it sound like your own.
don't lay out my future and include yourself inside.

the truth, would be seen with my eyes.
lies. all just a pack of lies.
every school educates their student's on plagiarism.
so at least give me credit on what i said before.
my future is my own.
i plan it the way i want it to be.
i put people in, and throw them out.
not you. not anyone else.


if only people could read minds.
then they would have known how it would have felt at that point of time.
that miserable, desperate feeling of being pushed to a corner with no where to turn.
the feeling of being bombarded with reasons and plans to go a certain way you never would have picked.
if only they knew what i felt.
if only they knew what i really went through.
if only they knew their plans will never fit into my own.
if only they knew.

then probably.
they would understand that even though what they laid out were pretty much beneficial to me.
what i'm doing for myself now will truly benefit me.

now- my only outlet to vent, is to rant.
i've considered all the probabilities.
i can't possibly retaliate. they love me.
i can't possibly go into isolation. they'll think i'm crazy.
i can't possibly get angry. it isn't anybody's fault.
i can't possibly go crazy. it's just insanity.
so all i do, is rant endlessly.
and then i realise-
the only way to truly stop this misery;
is to give in relentlessly.
it seems like every other way wouldn't work.

the only way i make myself feel better- is to escape.
escape from the pressure source.
escape from reality.
escape from what i really need to face.
maybe,
all i need is that little bit of courage to stand my ground.
just maybe.

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.