everything has changed somehow.
be it for better or worse.
just realised how selfish i've been recently.
i just kept ranting endlessly.
and it was all because i felt this way and that way and this way and that way.
and because i think this way and that way and this way and that way.
arggghhh-
kind of fed up with myself.
so probably-
if i were more selfless.
and if i were to place others before me,
i wouldn't be so worked up over little things.
and i wouldn't be all upset because things didn't turn out the way i meant it to be.

so i guess its time i positioned myself last.
be a little nicer.
be a little friendlier.
be a little kinder.
dig up the positive intent behind every word and action directed at me.
smile off every trouble and worry.
stand up straight after i fall.
scream out loud when i'm feeling low.
all in the name of HAPPINESS.
(all this selflessness should bring great joy, right?)

when the reliance becomes too great.
the loss becomes a blow.
recuperation takes some time though.
and i know i will find courage from within to face it.
just like how habits are hard to kick.
addiction is hard to rid.
and love is hard to keep.
maybe i was too used to.
so now that it has ceased,
i can barely stand the emptiness.
perhaps this is all it would be.
and i was glad it used to happen.
(:

sometimes when its all too much to shoulder,
you can put the blame on me.
(:

Sylvia. Syl. And someone you'll never expect me to be.